I used to wonder if it is good to be single. This is an important question to me because I have never been attached. Extrapolating the data from my 22 years of history, based on fore-casted trajectory using root min squared methods, with a R^2 of 100%, undoubtedly I am heading towards monk-hood. Thus, if having a girlfriend and getting married are important, I definitely should be doing something about it to deviate from this path.
Till now, I have yet to figure if the outcome of being attached/married is better than staying single. However, being a guy and staying single, I certainly feel that something is amiss. - There's a void in my heart that needs to be filled :(.
I know this very well but of course, we shouldn't jump to any conclusion based on emotions alone. Since I do not know if having the other half or staying single is the better option, my choice for now is to remain status quo and to bid for time while figuring this out. But is time on my side?
With my limited economics knowledge, I started building a model that reflects reality. In this modeled world, for simplification, there exists only one time period where everyone is of the same age. There's a mix of males and females who have differing attractiveness. The attractiveness index reflects individual qualities and characteristics (having a better quality = being more attractive). Of course, those who are more attractive have a higher probability to attract a mate of the opposite gender. Assume everyone is rationale and also assuming one can choose only mates he/she attracts. The result, unsurprisingly, showed that more attractive girls tend to be attached with more attractive guys and vice versa. Further iterations of the simulation shows that the more attractive people have an increasing probability to get attached. And that means the unattached people consists of people, who on average, are less and less attractive.
If my model is correct, that implies 2 harsh realities.
1. I am unattractive (and have lousy qualities) and hence single.
2. I better hurry up and get attached before all the opposite gender who are still available are the ones with lousy qualities.
Hey wait, I can't accept this as the truth. That's too damaging to my ego and personal outlook.
I started thinking...
During army days, I borrowed a book on relationships from Eddy, my fellow BX driver. This book is written by Allan and Barbara and if I remember correctly, it states the following.
What men look for:
1. Personality
2. Good looks
3. Brains
4. Humour
5. Good body
What women look for:
1. Humour
2. Brains
3. Status/Wealth
4. Personality
5. Looks
Or somewhere along the lines of these rankings. The important aspect I saw is that guys value looks and body way higher than girls do. And the stuff that girls look for in guys are less of the outward appearance stuff.
Given the above knowledge, let's examine and analyse how time plays a part in this.
Beauty - It is common knowledge that as one grows older, one becomes less physically attractive due to ageing.
Personality - On the other hand, a person's behaviour does not change much over time as shown by OBHR research.
Brains - It can be possible that a person grows smarter over time but again research has shown that a person's IQ remains fairly constant over time.
Humour - Subjective stuff but again this is pretty much related to personality.
Status/Wealth - This is usually something that you can accumulate and grow over time.
So... holding humour/brains/personality constant, in the eyes of a man, woman depreciates in value over time as she loses her beauty. Man, on the other hand, appreciates in value as he grows in wealth and status.
EUREKA! Time is on my side. I will get more highly valued as the years go by.
With this knowledge, I began to build 2 period, 3 period and higher period in to my model. In the eyes of females, males of older periods become more attractive; older males are able to attract the available females who are more attractive from all the time periods. Given that the average attractiveness of available females falls over time (due both to the fact that beauty declines over time and also because the more attractive females are taken up), a rational male will tend to pick females of younger age. Conversely, a younger female will, oh well. You deduce on your own.
Thus, a person's age is less important a factor for a male than a female if he/she wants a mate. So now I know. I can wait :D.
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6 comments:
what a comforting model for me as a single!!!
maybe you should be the very first guy to give us a seminar for our new CCA
i think this is what you shared with me before. but still quite encouraging to people like you and me who never hold a girl's hand.
but posting this on the net is not wise because there will be female audience who are your potential targets.
they will mark you down despite the fact that you demonstrate your "brain".
remember what i said: ladies are not rational creatures.
Hey thanks for the comments!
And thanks also for the advice. Try to keep this within the guys - I won't be sharing this with any girl except my sister because I care about her.
If any girl, especially a potential one who comes across my blog, marks me down because of this, it is certainly my loss.
But I guess this is just me. I don't intend
to have harm going to anyone's way. I hope the girls who read this will understand where I am coming from and use this to their advantage.
Oh Man! I think this is the greatest ever justification I have ever heard for a male to remain in singlehood till he lands his eyes on a very 'attractive' girl! Interesting linkage of Econs, a little Psy and OBHR to your paper.
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